Stepdad ends 5-year relationship when spoiled daughter starts lying compuslively, mom refuses to discipline her: "It's not a stepdaughter problem, it's a wife problem."

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 9, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen of the World Wide Web. I must admit that I was a pretty gullible child. Thus my parents had an easy time manipulating me into behaving. For example, my parents had me convinced for way too long that whenever I lied, my ears would turn bright red. So, I would always make sure to cover my ears whenever I tried to pull a fast one on them, unintentionally giving away my attempt at deceit. 

In our story today, a stepdad has a pretty hard time with his compulsive liar stepdaughter. This is largely because his partner refuses to discipline her, making him the perpetual "bad guy" and setting a double standard for his own daughter. Realizing after five years that the mother-daughter duo will never change, he decides that he needs to make for the exit before it gets bad, but he has second thoughts due to the time and money he's invested. Scroll down below for the full story. 

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  • 01

    AITAH ending 5 year relationship because spoiled stepdaughter?

    "My stepdaughter's entitlement has only gotten worse."
    via D-Keine

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (33M) have been living with my partner (32F) for the past two years. We both have daughters from previous relationships who are about the same age, and they generally get along. However, my daughter is with her mother most of the time, so she doesn't stay with us as often, while my stepdaughter is with us full-time.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 03
    Since we started dating (five years ago), my stepdaughter has been very spoiled and struggles with sharing—especially when it comes to her mother. Setting boundaries with her has been difficult, both in terms of her accepting my presence in her mom's life and improving her behavior.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 04
    ABC
    via FatCamera

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    After moving in, I started contributing financially, helping with household expenses, and since I have a good salary, I've thrown both girls amazing birthday parties and taken them on great vacations. However, my stepdaughter's entitlement has only gotten worse. She believes she deserves everything, acts extremely spoiled, and refuses to listen.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737

  • These two are absolutely not compatible in terms of parenting style – although I am not sure she even has one to begin with.

  • 06
    Throughout our relationship, I've asked my partner to address her daughter's behavior, as she often acts r de, misbehaves, and lies constantly. I've had many conversations with both of them about this, and I even paid for therapy to help my stepdaughter develop better behavior and social skills.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 07
    Despite all of this, things have only escalated. My stepdaughter has become a compulsive liar-she will deny things even when I clearly see her doing them. My partner doesn't discipline her in any meaningful way. She just tells her not to do it again, but there are no real consequences for her actions.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 08
    This is becoming a bigger issue because I don't want my daughter to feel like there's a double standard. If she gets punished for misbehaving while my stepdaughter gets away with everything, that's not fair to her.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10477664512
    via PeopleImages.com - YuriArcurs

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    After putting in so much effort and having countless conversations with my partner, I've come to the realization that nothing is going to change. Because of that, I've decided it may be best to walk away.
    via u/SecretJaguar2737

  • He made the right call in leaving. If he was already feeling like he's invested so much in the relationship, that feeling would only intensify over time, but the stepdaughter's behavior wouldn't get any better.

  • 11
    1Rainbow Unicorn NTA. Your partner is the problem and is never going to discipline her kid.
    via u/1RainbowUnicorn
  • 12
    Humble_Nobody2884 It's not a stepdaughter problem, it's a wife problem. Her refusal to rein her in speaks to not only lax parenting, but a real divergence in their fundamental values. She doesn't see raising kids to be good people as a priority.
    via u/Humble_Nobody2884
  • 13
    Much-Recording9444 If she's a compulsive liar, OP should make a run for it. Kid like that can ruin his life with false accusations
    via u/Much-Recording9444
  • 14
    mikeyflyguy Sounds like mom is more interested in being a friend than a parent. Move on because this won't change
    via u/mikeyflyguy
  • 15
    SecretJaguar2737 OP I've told her the exact same thing, I am glad I am not the only one thinking that!
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 16
    Successful_Voice8542 You don't mention the age of your stepdaughter but I would be careful about ever being alone with her. Someone who is very manipulative and lies constantly could falsely accuse you of
    via u/Successful_Voice8542
  • 17
    something (still could). I would leave as quickly and quietly as possible (maybe secure your own place and don't tell girlfriend until you are ready to move) and let her know that you sincerely tried your best but you have to put your
    via u/Successful_Voice8542
  • 18
    daughter's best interest first, as you know she would. You love her but your parenting styles don't mesh and you truly want the best for her and her daughter. You really don't want to make enemies of these two.
    via u/Successful_Voice8542
  • 19
    NTAH Mother Search3350 It's time to walk away and not get caught up on the lost cost fallacy of 'I have invested so much time.. money.. emotions'
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 20
    That's not your child and her mother has clearly shown that she isn't a good parent or even willing to try to become one.
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 21
    With you being the only disciplinarian in that household and your partners child being a pathological liar, and her level of entitlement and jealousy, you are literally living in a minefield where any manner of accusation can explode your life into a living hall.
    via u/Mother_Search3350
  • 22
    SecretJaguar2737 OP you read my mind, I kept saying that to myself, "so much time and money invested, it surely worth fighting for right?" and I came to a realization that things wont change now. so I will cut my losses and just pack my things up. hopefully I will have that conversation before the EOD
    via u/SecretJaguar2737
  • 23
    iknowsomethings2 You're making the right choice. Well done for putting yourself and your daughter first (the bare minimum but most fathers don't unfortunately)
    via u/iknowsomethings2
  • 24
    Far-Juggernaut8880 Sounds like your partner is the real issue here as they are encouraging and enabling the behaviours... NTA to end any relationship that is no longer healthy for you or your child.
    via u/Far-Juggernaut8880
  • 25
    meifahs_musungs Your gf is the problem because they refuse to parent their daughter. Walk away from this mess.
    via u/meifahs_musungs
  • 26
    ΝΤΑ broadsharp2 It will only worsen. Save yourself the never ending drama and grief.
    via u/broadsharp2

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boyfriend long term relationship toxic reddit story relationships parenting girlfriend stepdaughter divorce love breakup stepdad reddit thread red flag Reddit dating
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